Deconstructing my bad programming

Trying to deconstruct my bad programming.

Boys don’t cry, boys don’t play fashion, I am a boy.

Well, how does one argue against these things? How does a child argue against these things?

I feel like I have woken up, largely this has happened after an hormanal shift, and could it be that my testosterone levels just dropped? Well, this is what it feels like.

Crying was a big thing, and allowing myself crying sessions, well, now if a certain song comes on, or often Dr.Who is doing it (Peter Capaldi), the tears flood out.

It’s been really good for me, I have learnt from it, I have learnt that sometimes I am just feeling sorry for myself, sometimes the sweetness that people can show when they care for someone, when they put something right, sometimes the complete and utter feeling of my own ineffectualness, that I can’t wave a magic wand and make the world all better.

It’s very powerfull to recognise these feelings, to put them into context and it can really help for moving on in life.

Don’t be the hard tranny bitch, you’re not going to help anyone, least of all yourself as you’ll just be labelled “The hard tranny bitch”.

Be something braver, be warm caring people, be approachable, be fair minded.

We are people with feelings and emotions.

I consider myself a T-girl, a Transexual.

This was my latest revelation, that I may have some boy characteristics, at the moment, I recognise myself less as a boy, you know the walks like a duck, quacks like a duck? Well, I walk like a girl and I talk like a girl (think my voice is still deep, but I have girly conversations about tights, about handbags, about firemen etc)

I couldn’t go back now to boy mode even if I wished, the flood gates opened and its only travelling one way.

Humans could really do with opening this topic for discussion, from crossdressers through to post op transexuals, we need to let the world know;


It is not wrong for people born with penis’s to have feelings and emotions, wants and desires.

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