A boy who’s a girl

Well girls, here we are again.

Well I’ve gone through the ringer a bit, tried to challenge other people’s conceptions, but you know what, I had to challenge a few of my own.

I have arrived at “I’m a boy who’s a girl”.

How I arrived here?

I sat up in bed one day and proclaimed out loud, to nobody, to everybody, to myself, “I’m not supposed to be a man”.

From that day on it’s been a rollercoaster, with;

I just like dressing, the fashion
I want to have my penis chopped off 😮
Would I pass, and more importantly;
What lengths would I be willing to go to.

Other questions;

Am I gay
Am I bi

I am a fashion queen, at least in my own imagination, and the biggest dissapointment upon entering the trans realm has been the preoccupation with sex and sexual identity.

Women don’t like being seen as sex objects, so popular culture would have us believe, and I can understand that… the utter emptiness and revulsion of “Sinitta”, singing “Toyboy”, expecting anyone born with a penis to match her silly imagination, and ewwwww who would want to be anywhere near a horrid prune like her anyway!

But as often as not we see that women are identified by their sexuality.

Women are people with feelings, regardless of wether or not their “Hot bod” does it for you, regarldess of wether or not she has great legs shame about the face, regardless of her pretty hair, can nobody see this!?!?!? (I am talking at women here just as much as men)

And then the “Tranny’s”, for whom being a woman means stockings and high heels, YAWN YAWN YAWN YAWN YAWN YAWN YAWN.

oh how much dissapointment, the cheap wig and make-up.

Putting women’s clothes on does not make you a woman, indeed it makes you a sad caricature,  which is what all people born with a penis must be, he’s a soldier, he’s an  I.T specialist, he’s a salesman, he’s a “Tranny”

go f*ck yourselves.

I am a person too, not just women, I have feelings too.

I am constantly and consistently reminded that “I am a man” from;

men don’t have long hair,
Men don’t have ponytails
Men don’t have bunches
I have a receding hair line
I won’t know how to fold clothes
I won’t know about hosiery and if I do it must be for perverted reasons?
I won’t understand subtle differences in shade and colour, ie:- matching a bag to a pair of shoes.
Men don’t carry handbags
Men don’t wear flouncy clothing, clothing with flowers, or pastel colours
Men don’t wear skirts, because since “equality”, women can choose skirt or trousers, but men cannot choose, equality clearly does not equate to equal in the minds of women.
Men won’t cry or watch emotional films.
Men won’t nurture their offspring.

Well, I have to say I do not recognise any of the “man defining” qualities in myself and it is a horrible world where I am forced to wear the most boring drab clothing and to erase/hide all traces of myself… “must not mince, must not mince”.

I am lucid and more coherent than you and

I’m a boy who’s a girl.